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David Letterman
Oct. 13, 2000

David Letterman: Our first guest starred in this summer's blockbuster The Perfect Storm. Now You can see him in a new movie titled The Yards. It comes out October 20th in selected cities. Here's Mark Wahlberg ladies and gentleman. (Mark comes out in a black v-neck sweter and black dress pants) How are you doing? Mark Wahlberg: Woo! Good. I'm doing really well. How about you?

D: (pointing to the left side of Mark's black v-neck sweater.) That thing on your neck? How long have you had that. I've never seen it before.
M: It's a tattoo but it wears off in a couple of years.
D: Why is that?
M: Or at least that's what I keep telling my mom.
D: Oh I see
M: Now how long have you had it. I've had it for about 6 years now. They always cover it with makeup though.
D: Yeah I've never noticed that and you've been on the show.
M: What happened was . . . I was 12 years old and I got a homemade tattoo that I did myself with Indian Ink. So then my parish priest said I was going to hell because I marked my body. So i decided to fill my body with religious tattoos. So I got rosary beads and . . .
D: Right so you're thinking, they can't send me to hell now. Look, look a walking advertisement.
M: Exactly
D: And how many You have more than the thing we're looking at?
M: Just that and a couple more
D: How many total? Will you get more?
M: 4, No, I'm done
D: Was it painful?
M: Pretty painful
D: Well I guess so it's a electrified needle that punctures, punctures your skin doesn't it?
M: Yeah, you know you get there early you start drinking a couple beers. By the end of the day they wake you up and send you home. Pretty painless.
D: Really so they give you a general anesthetic for this?
M: Yes. It's a must. Not everybody does. But actually my mother did when she got her tattoo
D: Oh now stop it
M: She just got a tattoo. She almost killed my tattoo artist. She went to the same place I got mine done. My guy said "Please don't yell at her. . ."
D: Now what did she get?
M: It's a little symbol on her back you know. She thinks it's cool. She's rebelling at 50 something.
D: A little symbol? Like an universal price code?
M: I don't know what exactly it is. I don't know what it is. I don't know what to make of it.
D: That's just nuts. That's Just crazy.
M: Yeah it's a little crazy. A Little crazy.
D: See I've never been interested in getting a tattoo. I would ge one and it would get infected first and that a given then it would swell like a mushroom
M: What would you get though?
D: I wouldn't know. I would just let the guy pick. I have so little interest at what it would be.
M: That's nice Dave. That's nice
D: Like maybe a smiling monkey
M: You got to be careful with letting the tattoo guys do what they want because I had a friend who got a symbol in Chinese. He thought it meant love and peace but it actually meant go F yourself.
D: Really
M: Yeah So You have to watch out for that
D: Then there's the story about the guy who wanted, you know a really bad ass kind of guy and he goes into a tattoo place and he gets . . . The guy misspells it. He wanted 'Born to Lose' and it was 'Born too Loose.' He spelled it T-O-O. Did you hear of that?
M: I've never heard that one. That's a good one. I'll use that one tomorrow.
D: It's a true story.
M: I'll use that one.
D: Yeah that's crazy. Ain't it well it's a wacky world. Listen how you've been how was your summer?
M: My summer was pretty busy. I ended going right on a world tour for The Perfect Storm and then . .
D: How did that thing do. It's like almost 200 mil or something.
M: Yeah it did. and then as soon as I was finished I had to start preparing for my next role which is the remake of the Planet of the Apes.
D: Really, a remake of the planet of the apes?
M: Yeah I'm playing Charleston Heston's role but I'm not wearing his loincloth. I'm going to be a little more clothed than he was.
D: Now why are they making a remake of the planet of the apes
M: Oh because it's an incredible movie and Tim Burton's directing it and that's why I'm most excited about. Except for the part of riding horses. They've got me riding horses the past couple of weeks. I'm a city kid, the only time I ever saw a horse was a cop chasing me down o a street on it. It's not fun. Have you 've ever ridden a horse, Dave?
D: Ah I've ridden a horse ah . . .
M: Did you ever lose a patch of skin about that big (forms a circle with his thumbs and forefingers) off your ass from riding a horse Dave?
D: No
M: This has happened to me. Its happened to me
D: You're making some kind of mistake there then.
M: Well you know I didn't know I mean I jumped on it like I jump on a motorcycle or a dirt bike. The first couple of days they wouldn't let me ride fast. And then they aid you know 'try to run it a little' and so I start to lope. And I loved it. I felt great. I rode it for a couple of hours. The guy said just you know, 'calm down a little bit.' And I kept going and going. And I went home got in the shower and I swear to God. I felt like somebody lit my ass on fire.
D: Really?
M: And I didn't know what happened. I come out of the bathroom ands I'm trying to see what it is and I couldn't really tell. I figured it well it's got to be something, a cut of some sort. So I medicated it. And I put some rubbing alcohol which was the worst thing you could ever do. I dropped right down to my stomach and laid there in tears for about 45 minutes . . . naked.
D: wow
M: yeah
D: Was this from friction, it that what it was, from what you wore?
M: Yeah, I wore, I wore baggy pants and boxers, which I guess was a no-no.
D: Not supposed to do that, Now I wouldn't have even known that. so you went out and made a mistake. So a common rookie mistake. You overdid it and paid the price.
M: Yeah, Yeah The guys got a real kick out of it because they knew why I didn't show up for a week. I tried to play it cool when I got back, said I had other business and stuff like that. Right away a guy gave me a pat on the butt. I say ah Oh my gosh. They all started to giggle
D: Now who gave you the pat on the butt?
M: A big burly cowboy.
D: Well I'll be darned. Can You beat That? Now when you were out traveling for The perfect Storm, were you with the cast of the film? Did you go with George Clooney?
M: George was there and Director Wolfgang Petersen. But George didn't do any work. OK. We get there and me and Wolfgang did all the publicity. I guess George was supposedly sick or something.
D: What do you mean supposedly sick?
M: He was sick. He was sick of doing publicity. I think he was overexposed. That was the word.
D: So he travels all around the world with you guys but then he doesn't show up for the interview and stuff?
M: Yeah and no photo shoots or anything and then I come back to the final opening. Which is in Spain, there's pictures of george every where. He was in St. Tropez for 4 days, you know playing on a yacht mooning photographers.
D: Yeah, yeah
M; There was a really funny quote, it said "George Mooney" It was all over the newspapers. It was really good. Very creative.
D: So he actually dropped his pants and bent over to moon the photographers
M: yes, Yeah, so he was doing a little bit a publicity
D: Yeah that's right In his own way he was doing his part, what he could to publicize The Perfect Storm. 'Take a look at my ass' There you go. You follow baseball?
M: Ah, I'm still kinda follow baseball, but of course with you know with the Red Sox out . . . So I really don't have any . . .
D: I guess they are out. I haven't seen them in a while
M: Yeah I haven't either.
D: I've been dialing around all the games. I haven't seen the Red Sox here lately.
M: So I'm rooting for any body who can beat the Yankees. (boos from audience) Which is nobody. And of course . . But then I don't want to see the Mets either (more boos) because of what they did to the Red Sox, so . . .
D: Do you have any idea where you are?
M: I've got 5 guys and a car waiting outside.
D: 5 guys in a car ain't gonna do it
M: yeah we'll give it a shot. 3 of them are New Yorkers. Nah, I would love to see the Yankees win. I mean God knows they've paid for it already.
D: Not after what you just said
M: But they paid for it
D: We're about to see somebody get beat.
M: But it's not even fair though. You look at the Yankees lineup, it's like the American League All Stars against, you know every other team, you know, maybe one or 2 all stars or something.
D: Seattle comes in and wins the first game. What do you make of that?
M: I know. Isn't that horrible, after Grieffey left they make the playoffs.
D: Ah but that ain't our problem. All we care about are the Yankees and Mets
M: Who do you like Dave? You're a Mets fan right? Mets or Yankee's fan?
D: I tell you, honestly, I don't care who wins. I don't care whether it's the Yankees, whether its the Mets and this is presuming that it will be a subway series. All I want is a good, clean contest.
M: Yeah (doubtful)
D: That way you see, my friend, we all win.
M: I actually wouldn't like to be on a train, But I would like to see you know, a videotape what would happen on a train after a Yankee/Mets game. during a World series.
D: I think it would be nice. People are generally pretty darn nice.
M: Really (skeptical) Did I ever tell you what happened to me during a New England Patriot/Jets game? I got jumped by 6 guys
D: Really?
M: In the bathroom because the Patriots won.
D: Boy, you must have done something wrong.
M: I wasn't even rooting Dave. I had laryngitis. I was working on 'The Perfect Storm.' I didn't have a voice. I was sitting in a box rooting for anybody. I clapped like this when they won and walked out the door. And people picked . .
D: And it was it 'Oh look the movie star, let's beat him up.'
M: Yep. That's what happened. That's what happened. every body thinks I've got it made
D: It doesn't make any sense to me.
M: It's not worth it. I'll go back to underwear model. (cheers from audience)
D: Let's show a quick clip of . .
M: I was kidding. I was.
D: Your ass ain't what it used to be now.
M: Exactly.
D: The horse thing. You're screwed my friend.
M: yeah
D: Let's take a look at this, The Yards, Its a real dark, real gritty, underworld sort of (shivers)
M: Very serious
D: The Yards refers to the subways here
M: Yes.
D: Tell them what the clips about.
M: Setting up. This is actually a clip of myself and Joaquin Phoenix, were at a night club. I'm discussing the importance of my staying clean and doing the right thing to take care of my mom
D: An important lesson for us all.
Shows Clip
D: There you go. Won't let him get into any trouble. It's called "the Yards" It opens October 20th in selected cities. Nice to se you Mark.
M: Thank you very much.
D: Enjoy the autumn.

Copyright 2000. Late Show with David Letterman, CBS, Worldwide Pants Co. & Mark Wahlberg

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